Was it just me or was January TOUGH? Ufff it was brutal, in that way where nothing is really “wrong” but you/it/we just didn’t feel “right”. Nearly everyone I know had a very “interesting” January and 3 people (myself included) had a little cry just because “being an adult is hard”.
Thank f*&$ it's February!
The glitter of December is gone, the New Year’s resolutions as always are forgotten and most importantly for this newsletter the excuse of “I’m just getting back into the routine” is over. It’s time. Time to stop just thinking, over-thinking and talking about what we want. It’s time to take action.
Forgive me if this sounds harsh, but I am writing this as much to you as I am to myself. Now is the time to draw the line. There comes a point in every obstacle, issue and problem that always leads back to us. When we realize that regardless of the cause of the obstacle, issue and problem we are the only ones that can resolve it.
This thought was compounded during my work with a client last week. The best way to sum up the theme of our session, overwhelm. My client had an incredible amount of work to do, they were regularly working a significant amount of overtime, and there was no end in sight with new projects on the horizon. No light at the end of the tunnel.
Together we looked at the “cost” if they continue doing what they’re doing. In this case the “cost” for my client was the negative impact of their high workload on their family and personal life. And the recognition of this “cost” changed everything. They saw that they had so little time for the things that really mattered. We then looked at the “benefit” of changing/tweaking their actions and thought processes; how they could delegate more, say no to responsibilities that weren’t theirs and accept that when completing some tasks enough not perfection was what was more than sufficient.
Is any of this striking a cord?
If it is (and again apologies if this sounds harsh) then you know that you need to stop or start reducing the complaining, shifting the blame around and putting things off. Take responsibility for your methods of doing things and start and continue to take appropriate actions that step by step will take you away from firefighting and towards the more satisfying areas of choice, freedom, reward, relaxation and happiness that you desire.
“But Alexa, that’s all well and good. But I don’t even have time to stop and think let alone achieve small victories. I have to do xxxxx and then there’s xxxxx and I haven’t even thought about xxxxx.” OK. I hear you. You’ve got so many things to do. Always. Always? Really?
I feel it appropriate to check in with you here: Are you prioritising what really needs to be prioritized in order to make those small steps towards where you really want to “be”? Are you concentrating on the “quick wins” to make you feel that you are making progress? Are you not even putting the important things on the list as you know that you won’t do them?
Read the questions again and think about your answers.
I’m going to take a guess here, you’re getting stuff done, but just not the right stuff.
“OK Alexa, but now what?” Simple. Take things OFF the list.
Of course it would be wonderful if you could get everything done, if your inbox had no “unreads”, all projects were running smoothly, your house was spotless, your clothes ironed, homemade dinners in the freezer for when you’re really busy and that you went to the gym in the morning so you can have a relaxing evening after work. But because life happens and unexpected things get in the way this “everything in order” is a tricky beast to maintain. And once this is recognized, there needs to be a shift and a focus on the top priorities.
Therefore, only put 2-3 things on your to-do list. Maximum 2-3 things. What are the most important things that you can do today? Take the non-essentials off. Researching how Company executes work was an eye-opener. They focus on one thing at a time and keep their “to-do lists” short, ensuring that their tasks are not only prioritized but are achieved. Step by step they move towards the realization of their motivations.
Back to you. Let’s have a look a possible list of yours.
Supermarket BIG shop
Arrange meeting for next week
Read and answer all emails?
Update and send report for approval
Before you have even finished writing the list, you already know that you’re never going to complete it all. Lowering your motivation and confirming your thought pattern that you’re so busy that you can’t even do the “essentials”.
Now let’s compare it with:
Of course you’re going to be doing more than 2-3 things in your day. But the point is, if you need to complete that proposal and send the report and those are the absolute must-do’s of the day then only have that on your to do list. AND if you have time, sure you can attack the inbox box, etc. But the inbox is not a priority today, the report is.
Prioritize. Focus. And feel the movement away from doing things out of panic and urgency and enjoy the feeling of completing tasks out of choice which take you towards were you want to be.
Bring on February! ; )
I’m running my first workshop of 2019 in February in Madrid. Topic “Happy habits: exploring how to get want you want by doing what you want”. (More information to be found shortly on my social media pages.)
But don’t worry if you’re not a Madrid resident, I still work with international clients, thanks very useful thing called the internet.
Keep up to date with my workshops and general insights via Facebook and Instagram. And as always, if you have any questions about how we can work together to improve, change, focus or all of those things and more, my “virtual door” is always open!
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Thank you for reading. Have a fabulous week and remember less is more! Alexa.
If anyone you know might find this useful, do forward this newsletter or send them this link: https://www.alexadoman.com/single-post/2019/02/05/Do-less
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